Being a Gentlemen

     How would you define a gentleman? If you we look to “pop culture” who would you choose or identify as a good example? Do you look only at a man’s looks or how attractive he appears? Is it wealth, position or title that is defining attribute? Or perhaps is it a combination of many attributes that make the whole. Just as no one skill defines an athlete it’s a culmination of skills that are developed and honed over time.

     I believe the same is true with the forging of a man. One of my favorite movies that demonstrates this point is in the movie Take the Lead. For a gentleman being able to dance is skill and talent that must be developed. I was introduced to formal dance in college as a young cadet in R.O.T.C I found it very useful later in career and in life. Dancing is not only fun but gives a man confidence and power that has to be experienced to be truly understood. In a world of instant gratification, dancing has become a lost art. Oh sure you can go to the club and do the bump in grind club scene. However, that is not what you are here for. Referencing back to the clip it mentions that dancing teaches a man how to touch a lady respectfully, bump & grind does not qualify.

     Respect will be covered in greater depth in a future post. As a gentleman, one must first give respect to earn respect. When dealing with others everything from how we dress, speak and posture all come into play when interacting socially. Especially when speaking interacting with a lady. According to merriam-webster.com Gentleman “a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior” is the one I think is most applicable. The original context no longer applies for the greater part as most of us are not decedents from English nobility. I also, really like the definition from urbandictionary.com “A man of calm demeanor, strong preserve, intellectual thinking, polite yet meaningful speak and a good upbringing. A fighter for the cause of right with words, not guns.” The Urban dictionary allows people to vote on the definition they believe is most accurate or embodies the definition that is most accurate to them. 

     When I was young my mother told me after fighting with my sister that I could not hit my sister anymore. She said it very calmly and I didn’t think anything more about it after that. Later that day I got into a fight with my older sister and received the spanking of a lifetime. I will never forget the speech for that is what it was, either that or a very long recitation! She asked me if I wanted to be the type of man who would hit a woman? My answer was, of course, NO and then she proceeded to explain that I was too old to hit my sister and that it was no way to treat a lady. My mother is old school born in Germany and raised me to be a gentleman and to treat a woman in a certain manner. Now I have not always used what I learned at home, however, for the greater part of my life I have and it has always paid dividends and set me apart from my peers.

     The older I get the more I see that many of the common courtesies I was raised with have fallen by the wayside and are no longer taught or demonstrated to our youth and young men in today’s society. Many of the topics I will discuss are from personal experience, trends I see and topics that others have submitted and asked me to write about. I would like to know how do you define being a gentleman personally and what do you think is missing in today’s society that has led to the departure of men being a gentleman?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *